Sunday, January 30, 2011

My Last 10 Pounds

I have battled with my weight and body image all of my life.  I can remember as a child being the "chubby girl" and always being the last chosen for sport teams, usually utilized for keeping the numbers even.

I remember my mom trying to convince me that a piece of whole wheat bread, with little or no mayo, piled as high as I wanted with alfalfa sprouts was a filling sandwich! NOT!

I have always been a member of the clean plate club.  I have always eaten until I was stuffed.

Not always unhealthy food choices, but most certainly enormous portion control issues!  I struggle with that everyday, still.  I do not understand the psychology behind it.  I'm sure there is something!

But for the last 5 or more years, I have been able to keep off 50 pounds!  That is a lot of weight on a 5'2" (or less) frame. BUT, I have had that last ten pounds that just wants to linger, and I have not been fighting with it.  I have been trying to come to terms with it.  Accept it.  Make friends with it.  Understand it.  The number on a scale really does not matter too me entirely, I am certainly more concerned with the size of my jeans, and the overall health and fitness of my body.  I have come to understand that as my choices and patterns become healthier, the number on the scale will get where it needs to be.  I do not own a scale in my home.  Never have.  About 2 years ago, I knew it was time to step up to the next level, and get more fitness activity into my life on a regular basis.  We had a gym at the company I worked for, and I started going every day, for at least 30 minutes.

I bought a gym membership a bit more than a year ago as I was no longer with that company, and have made a regular practice of being at the gym, and working out, at lest 3 times a week for 30 minutes.  I do not work out hard as a general rule, as a condition with my hip does not always permit that, but the biggest thing for me is building the routine, and breaking a sweat!  Knowing that as I get stronger, and can eventually get the medical attention my hip needs, then I will be able to build on this basic routine.

Last Thanksgiving, I decided that for 2011, I wanted to get a bit more focused on that last 10 pounds.  I felt like the previous changes I ha made were solidified into my life style, and it's time to add some more.  Time to build the next little level.  I know all too well for my self that if I get too drastic, then it only lasts a couple of months, and if I make changes in little baby stages, then it is life changing! (This pretty much goes for everything, and not just diet and exercise!!).

Last night at the gym (the only scale other than my doctors that I take serious) .... I weighted in at 130pounds!  My current goal weight is 125, and my goal dead line is summer (but am hoping for March, because we are going to Hawaii!!).  I cried!  I have not seen a scale balance at that weight with me on it, in over 20 years!  Tears of self pride, and relief, and satisfaction flooded my heart!

The weight may not stay off totally, or all at once.  That seems to be the pattern for me over the last 5 or so years ... lose 5, gain 3, loose 3 gain 2 ... but in the long run, I am loosing the fat, and my muscles are getting stronger, and I am feeling healthier and more energetic!  I am not going to run any 5ks, or half or whole marathons like several of my friends ... my hip just will not allow that!  But I am going t go hiking more, and ride my bike more in the summer, and wear a bikini on the beaches of Hawaii!!  And I am going to continue on this slow building healthy process, because it makes me feel so good!

Because I want to LIVE WELL!
Love Suzi~Q