Saturday, July 20, 2019
Emotional Leaking - What is it?
Have you heard that term before?
It's when unspoken emotions "leak" out of our bodies through unintended words, misdirected frustration or anger, actions, tears or other emotional actions like laughing inappropriately, tone of voice, facial expressions, or energy.
Sometimes the cause of the leaking is really obvious to us. We had a fight with with someone, or had a bad experience that left us in a bad mood, and we're having a difficult time separating that experience from the rest of our day (Week? Month? Life?) and we drag that negative emotion around with us and end up sharing that negative energy with other people that had nothing to do with the negative experience.
Maybe we just had to most happily amazing experience with a loved one, or experience at a store or business, and we want everyone to know about it. Maybe we don't tell anyone, but we just start smiling a little more intentionally at everyone we pass, hold a door, leave a flower, sent a message.
Sometimes the cause is deeper. Long held unspoken fears, hurt feelings, seemingly long forgotten childhood experiences, anxieties, even our deeper mindsets, can rise to the surface and leak into our daily experience, and we might not even recognize that it is happening.
Sometimes, we know we are leaking. Sometime we do not.
Is this bad? Not necessarily. Let's take a look at a couple of analogies.
The first one is a story:
There was a woman who had to walk down a path every day to get water from the well. She had 2 buckets, and carried one in each hand. One bucket had a crack, and she always carried it in her left hand. Each day she went to fill the buckets, by the time she walked back to the house the bucket in her left hand was empty becasue it had leaked out along the path. The 2 buckets were talking on the porch where they were left, and the cracked one was lamenting and feeling useless for never being able to successfully bring water back to the house. This caused the woman to have to make additional trips to the well. She was old and this trip was getting more and more difficult for her, and the bucket felt like it was letting the woman down. The intact bucket looked out and down the path they traveled daily and pointed out to the cracked bucket that the side of the trail where she carried the cracked bucket was rich with lush veggies and flowers.
This next analogy, I want you to think about the effect of a leaking pipe in the wall of your bathroom. Even a tiny occasional drip, over time can cause detrimental damage to the structure of your home. And just becasue you cannot see the leak, and you cannot see the wetness that it is leaving, does not mean it is not happening! And how do you KNOW that it is happening. You often times cannot know until you break open the dry wall. You might be doing a bathroom remodel, and discover that there has been a leak for a long time that you were unaware of! And with a bit of luck, you discovered it before any crucial damage was done!
I think one of the differences in determining if it's good or bad to leak, is to determine the underlying aspects.
Maybe we have pressed those emotions and mindsets down tight and deep and are avoiding dealing with them on a conscious level. Trust me. They will leak out. And sadly, it is usually the more negative and difficult to face emotions and mindsets that leak the most. And are certainly the most toxic for our lives, and for those around us.
So, now that we understand that this is a real thing that is happening, what do we do about it?
I'll write about that in the next post.
So, for now; pay attention to your underlying emotions, and how they might be leaking.
I had such an experience just this morning, which is what prompted me to write on this topic.
I figure if it happens to me, it happens to you, and maybe through sharing we can all heal a little bit more!
Because everything we learn to make our lives better is EXTRA in this journey and process of Living Well!
All my Love,